New Roadsign: Watch out for uni-solers!

This weeks new road sign submittal features the standard issue stick person on a yellow background with the addition of a single shoe. I have wondered for years why road sign stick figures never have any feet or hands in the first place!?!? The addition of the single shoe clearly indicates that there may be single shoed pedestrians strollin’ across the street. According to the number of single shoe encounters I have had over the past several months, uni-solers as I like to call them are more prominent than anyone realizes.
-J. Snipes

HIGH WIRE ACT: Shoe-icide or simply shoes on a wire?

A pair of athletic cleats was discovered Monday in the early evening hours clinging to power lines in a suburban neighborhood. The matching pair of soles appeared to be lifeless and unresponsive to calls from local authorities. It is unclear at this time exactly how or why the shoes ended up stranded on the high-voltage lines. Lost Sole investigator and single shoe expert “Sarge” suspects something foul here…foul ball, foul play, foul smell. The self appointed expert is a huge athletic supporter and expects to solve this mystery at all costs. So far there are no reported eyewitnesses to this cruel, insensitive crime. -J. Snipes, Lost Soles Press

“Shoe Limit” Sign Latest Attempt to Raise Awareness

This week’s new sign proposal submitted by yours truly at a recent city council meeting aims to help reduce the number of discarded shoes found on roadways across America. A recent independent study suggests that the Lost Sole phenomenon may have a negative impact on our environment, especially in higher single shoe laden areas. I’m not sure what the single shoe situation is in your city or town, but I have discovered “hot spots” here locally where shoes just seem to end up for whatever reason. Is this a new sport, fad or pastime that I am unaware of? I’m suspicious of a new organization in town called the SDOA (Shoe Ditchers of America) that meets every Wednesday at the Moose Lodge (free spaghetti dinner) and is behind our local single sole outbreak. Unless we can convince the major shoe manufacturers to consider making all shoes bio-degradable, mother earth will continue to suffer at the foot of foul, unwanted footwear.-J Snipes

Sole of the Week: Where Fashion Meets Pavement

This weeks Lost Sole incident has been brought to you by an unidentified pedestrian in an "upscale" neighborhood, proving once and for all that even the well-to-do somehow manage to become separated from their footwear. Although abandoned and alone, there was just something graceful and charming about this solitary shoe incident...the colors...the style...the mere fact that this high dollar flat was still laying in the gutter 2 weeks later.
-J Snipes

Late Night Trip to Store Yields Latest Single Shoe Sighting

At around 11:13pm Tuesday evening, it suddenly occured to me that I was completely out of deodorant for the morning "clean and groom" session. Borrowing a little from the wife "just to get by" is NOT an option as there is nothing more alarming than a man who smells like the 5 dozen rose special from Pro Flowers. So, I strapped on my shoes (both of them) grabbed the keys and headed out to my local 24-hour convenience store for the "bare essentials". On the way there, my headlights came in direct contact with a shoe-like silouette laying in the middle of the roadway. As I got closer, I confirmed my suspicion and slowed to the nearest parking lot to investigate. Oddly enough, I just happened to have my camera handy...and ready. At this late hour, there were very few cars on the road and most "normal" people were at home fast asleep, catching some z's, counting sheep...but not me. There for that quiet moment, standing two feet from the double yellow line on a major city street with no cars appraoching from either direction, I realized that I was...really standing in the middle of the street taking a flash picture of someone's lost, blown out, running shoe at 11:30 at night?!#*%&! For a split second I envisioned myself trying to explain to a police officer what I was really doing there in the middle of the street at that hour...and quickly got back in my car and continued on to the store. Aparently I have adopted the "Dumb & Dumber" definition of the "bare essentials" and left the store with a wooden paddle ball, 2 pinwheels, several bags of candy, large foam hat...oh and deodorant too!
-J Snipes

Wayward Beach-goer Loses Flip-Flop...Nowhere Near Beach!

An unidentified and apparent beach-goer somehow managed to leave a rubber flip-flop behind in the latest "Lost Sole" discovery this afternoon. It was as if this person just stepped right out of the stylish, clear strap thong and just kept right on going...headed for the beach or some warm climate State. Found resting alone under a city road sign, this sole was nowhere near a beach...or public pool...not even a small lake. In fact weather wise, it's not the correct season to be sporting one of these coverless flats...especially outside! All I know is that there must be one cold soul out there sauntering around town with a pair of really cold wheels....

New Sign of the Week: A Friendly Reminder to Share the Road

This weeks new sign proposal was inspired by the mass numbers of lost soles stranded helplessly on city streets and highways in America. A reminder to passing motorists and pedestrians to share the road with those less fortunate. A plea for a little roadside respect and to watch for those lying in low places to avoid further flattening our single soled bretheren. To ask ourselves, "What if that were me, alone, dirty and kicked to the curb? How would that make me feel?" As we all venture to work and school this week, be kind and share the road with bicyclists, pedestrians, other motorists and lone stray shoes.

Single boot discovery reveals disturbing highway activity.

Well folks, the lost shoe phenomenon continued today with the discovery of this large leather hunting boot on the interstate, which suggests a strange new craze among hunters...a new breed of outdoorsmen from the new "NRA" (National Roadkill Association) involved in the sport of collecting freshly run-over roadkill and claiming it as their own. This completely unfair and questionable act made popular by the less talented hunters of America has many animal activists demanding that the silly so-called sport be banned. In support of the ban, I have proposed yet another new road sign (shown in photo) to remind those involved not to "play" on the freeway.
J. Snipes-Staff Writer

Road Sign Proposal Aims to Raise Single-Shoed Pedestrian Awareness.

The latest new road sign proposal to be submitted by...well...me, will hopefully alert motorists to single shoe'd individuals meandering on highways and city streets. If accepted, the new road signs will be placed in the surrounding areas of the more popular single-shoe laden hot spots. While I have yet to personally see one of these "one shoe wonders", they are apparently plentiful according to the recent numbers of Lost Sole sightings. Many of us probably pass at least one single shoed person a day and don't even realize it. By nature, we never really think to look down at anyone's feet. With increased awareness and the addition of these new signs, I am hopeful we can begin to solve the single shoe mystery.
-J. Snipes, Lost Soles Press

Single Shoe Found Near Church Grounds Looking To Be "Worn Again".

In an apparent attempt to save its own sole, a slip-on style shoe was found on a grassy median underneath a tree adjacent to a local church earlier this week. A closer look at the sign in the background revealed the following message, "Does your diet include food for the sole?" It was obvious this lone sole came seeking help from above...to be "worn again".
J. Snipes-Staff Writer